Blue Plate Bachelor

You will need

• One ripe mango (diced)
• One small cucumber (diced and seeded)
• 1/2 small red onion (diced)
• 1 tbsp. chopped mint
• 2 tbsp. chopped cilantro
• 1 seeded and chopped jalepeño
• 2 to 3 chopped garlic cloves
• Juice of 1 to 2 limes
• salt and pepper to taste

Instructions

Chop it all up, and stir it together. Throw it in the refridgerator for an hour. That’s it. Really.

Oh right. The mango. Those things are weird. They’re shaped kind of like flattened footballs, and they have a big gnarly seed in the middle shaped roughly like the mango itself.

To cut a mango, you should hold it stem-end-up on your cutting board. Using a nice, sharp knife, cut the two flat sides off, leaving a sort of mango hockey puck behind.

Take each mango hemisphere (ignore the puck for a moment) and, using your knife, score a grid into the fruit.

Cut into the fruit deeply, but don’t pierce the skin. It won’t work, and you’ll cut yourself.

Turn the mango slice inside out and the sections pop out. Use the back of your thumb to peel them off of the skin.

Now, take the mango hockey puck, and slice the long sides off. You’ll have to experiment with where to slice. Too close to the stem and you’ll hit seed.

Slice off the two sides. They can easily be peeled from the skin and chopped up.

This will leave you with a mango brick with a stem on one end and a big gnarly seed in the middle. Take this to the kitchen sink and gnaw on it greedily. It is your reward for a job well done.

(be sure to wash the sticky mango juice off your chin. you barbarian.)

This entry was posted Saturday, April 14th, 2007 at 4:39 pm and is filed under Food, Healthy Stuff. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.